Your Brain On Love

Notes from Stan Tatkin.

Island types

• Interpersonal relationships are hard for you.
• You worry more about your attachments.
• Addicted to alone time.
• Like your partner in the house, but not in the room.
• You auto-regulate a lot.
• Like it when your partner goes away.
• Learned to be filtered and guarded.
• Observing, watching.
• A sense of childhood, but not many real memories.
• Averse to neediness and clinginess.
• Don’t talk too much.
• Independent (due to neglect).
• Appearances become more important than relationships.
• Typically had one parent with a self-esteem problem — maybe the parent cared more about beauty or work, something not related to the relationship.

Islands pretend to be needless and are sensitive to intrusion — for example, they hate having their name called from another room in the house.